Updated: Aug 10, 2020
The human experience is not an easy one. When we are born there is no playbook on how to navigate the twists and turns. Yes, we are given parents but at the end of the day, no one but ourselves can live out the specific experiences that require our own specific lessons. Often times, those experiences can be so heavy we feel as if we might break. Most of my life I have been obsessed with the experience of being human, relentlessly seeking answers praying that they would get me closer to the unknowns. Why are we here? What happens when we leave? Who is the ultimate creator? And then who is the creator of THAT creator? So on and so forth.
While I am aware that there will be many unknowns for a long time coming, I do know one thing for sure, this life is a series of moments begging us to surrender. Embracing, accepting and letting go: these are things that as humans, do not come entirely naturally for us. Why? Our egos are what roots us to our human vessel. The ego’s purpose is to fight for our lives, which is not a bad thing. However, the ego unchecked will have us thinking we need to be fighting for our lives in moments when it is completely unnecessary. The ego is a sensitive little creature that is always on guard and feels threatened quite easily. It is an energy that feeds off control. Our ego is the reason why we seek power over others, as well as the reason for fear, anxiety, and all of the other emotions that keep us locked in our heads.
While our egos do what they do - hold on tightly and seek out certainty - our spirits are asking us to surrender. And every moment in life is an opportunity to do so. To practice dissolving ourselves - our ego - so we can return back to our natural state, back to love. Every moment we are given the opportunity to let go so that we can be. So that we can step just a bit further from the stories our minds are making up and just a bit closer to the ultimate truth in our hearts. Contrary to what our minds want us to believe, we do not need another layer of protection. What we need is to take another step into softness.
So how do we step deeper into surrender? Well, we must first feel safe. If we do not feel safe, our animal, our ego, will completely take over with a sword and shield. The way that we step into deeper surrender, into deeper love is through love. We must provide love for ourselves through deep self-compassion, asking our human vessels “What do you need from me right now? What would make you feel safe right now? What would feel good to you right now?” Equally as important we must surround ourselves with love. Have you ever seen a toddler out and about? They will roam the grassy fields but always make sure to look back and see if mom or dad is still there. If they are, the toddler will feel anchored and safe enough to keep exploring. We are no different. We must surround ourselves in loving environments where we feel supported and deeply loved. When we do, our egos will loosen up enough for us to be here, to explore, to truly live, to soften and to open ourselves up to greater love.
When we feel pain, sadness, fear, lost, anger, guilt, shame, anxiety, etc, our human is crying out for love. Just the same - when those around us harden up with one of these emotions, it is a clear sign that their human is hungry for love. Which is crazy because when our society sees people who have lost their way or are reacting in a “dark” manner, we ostracize them, throw them in jail or lock them up in a mental institution. We see someone who is crying out for help and we push them even further throwing them into a deeper state of despair, further away from the very antidote their human is crying for.
The same goes for the people in our life. Just like us, they need love to feel safe enough to be here. They need love to feel at ease and to soften up. If someone in our life is in pain or reacting in a hardened way, we must try to bring softness and love into the situation first. We must show them that it is safe enough for them to put away their armor. If it becomes a situation where they are determined to stay closed up and begin causing you deep pain, I am not saying to stick around and take on their wounds. That helps no one. At that point, the most loving thing we can do, and often times the hardest, is to go deeply into self-compassion. So if someone in your life is causing you pain, the ultimate most loving thing you can do is to ask yourself “what would make me feel safe, open, and at ease?” which can very much result in you separating yourself - an action done out of love. Our world does not need more wars. Our world needs more love.
We are all on this human journey, trying to figure out how to free ourselves from the chains our egos lock us in. Contrary to what the ego has made us believe - it is not through material objects, gaining power over others, or closing ourselves up that we will begin to free ourselves from our mind’s grasp. In fact, these are the exact tactics the ego takes on. We use these things because we think they are what will take us to the place we are seeking. They will not. They will only push us further away, creating deeper clinging and thicker walls, ultimately make it harder for us to surrender.
Every situation in our life is begging us to surrender. It is asking us to soften up and to care for ourselves and others. It is asking us to let go so that we can fall deeper into the love that will set us free. All of these moments are here to help us come back home to ourselves while we inhabit these bodies and until the final moment - the Great Surrender - where we will ultimately part ways with our human vessel and return to our most natural state. A state of pure love.